I'm still dabbling in my edits for Saving Natalie. It's pretty slow-going, so I'm thankful for Wednesdays to give me the incentive to whip something up. Here are five paragraphs from chapter 5 of Saving Natalie in honor of May 1. The action in this chapter takes place about seven months before the events in chapter 1.
***
Mark was grading papers in his office when Jessica came in.
She stood in the doorway, hugging the pink fuzzy bathrobe she got for her
sixteenth birthday. Mark put down his pen and studied his daughter.
“Is everything all right?”
Jessica bit the corner of her lip. Mark couldn’t remember if he had seen her out of bed all day. Mark leaned forward and stood up, but the impact of daughter’s words forced him back into his chair.
“I got pregnant.” No warning. No attempt to soften the blow. Mark closed his eyes for one second. Two seconds. When he opened them, his daughter still appeared the same. Jessica stood in the doorway, looking as small as a third-grader.
Swallowing down his hatred toward whatever beast ruined his only child, Mark forced his legs to stand and motioned to his swivel chair. “Have a seat.”
***
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Random Fact #16: When I was in fourth grade I had to wear a patch over one lens of my glasses to correct what the doctor's thought was lazy eye.
Wow. That explains the parents' attitudes in chapter 1...
ReplyDeleteYeah, it takes some time for the backstory to come in..
DeleteAhhhhh! Well, that explains a lot! Now I'm really interested in learning more about Jessica's relationship with Jake, though.
ReplyDeleteHaha, yeah I didn't realize how disjointed everything in chapter 1 seemed because of course in my mind I know the whole back story!
DeleteI just downloaded The Beloved Daughter! Can't wait to get into it!
ReplyDeleteStephanie, thanks so much! I really hope you like it! When you've read it, if you have a chance to leave an amazon review that would be AWESOME! Have a great day!
DeleteYes, it does explain a lot and I'm even more intrigued now with the whole set up. That fourth "I got pregnant" paragraph is particularly good - I love the fact she comes out with it so bluntly.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kate! No beating around the bush, is there? Thankfully her dad's a decent chap. He'll handle it pretty decently.
DeleteOooohhh. A pregnant teenager. No wonder Grandma was grumpy and Dad was left out. Given her tattoo, it seems Jessica was already a little on the rebellious side. I'd have to go with Kate. The bluntness rocks. Is there really any other way to say it? Of course, I guess she could have done an interpretive dance. Or maybe sung a song. Or write a limerick. "I'm sorry to give you a shock, but it's up that I've been knocked. Now please don't be pushin' or shovin, you might hurt the bun in my oven." *groan*
ReplyDeleteReGi, you are on fire today! LOL "it's up that I've been knocked"
DeleteYeah Regi, that's totally tweet worthy. Think it's 140 characters or less?
DeleteDidn't you guys learn the interpretive dance for telling Dad you're pregnant in your high school health classes?
DeleteLove this line: "Swallowing down his hatred toward whatever beast ruined his only child" Run, boy! Run as fast as you can and don't look back.
ReplyDeleteWouldn't you know... it's actually Mom he's really going to have to worry about!
DeleteAnd there it is - the moment that their life changes forever. I remember a guy I knew breaking down and telling me his teenage daughter had just told him the same thing. He was devastated on so many levels - disappointed, angry - his whole dream for her life had evaporated. Cut to 9 months later and little grandson was the apple of his eye (poor girl could hardly get a hold).
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this - yes did make a lot of sense of the first chapter WIPpets that have come before. Great job.
I know of a grandpa who was the same. Teenage girl got pregnant, he thought she should have an abortion, but as soon as he saw that baby he was prepared to spoil her for life!
DeleteIt's funny... I loved the intensity here (Jessica does seem to be pushing back at her parents a bit from what I've read), but I always got bothered by the idea of the boy "ruining" the girl.
ReplyDeleteNot that it doesn't happen sometimes, but often...especially in the case of teens, the boys and the girls are ruining each other. And then there is that "ruined" part....
It's a sign of a compelling story when I see characters I disagree with as a reader and totally empathize with anyway. Thanks for the share, Alana.
Great thoughts, Eden. And we're definitely going to see that Jessica wasn't "ruined" against her will the way her father first thinks! This is definitely Dad's POV (and not mine!) we're getting here.
Delete