Tuesday, May 7, 2013

WIPpet Wednesday: "Wipe It Clean"

     Have you ever fallen in love with a fictitious character? I had a huge literary crush on Samwise Gamgee, which is the only reason I finished the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy. And even though it may be the epitome of ego-centrism, I have to admit that I'm very fond of Moe, whom you get to week in this week's WIPpet Wednesday submission.

     Here are nine paragraphs from chapter nine of Saving Natalie.

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                Moe furrowed his brow and pouted at his rag. What was he supposed to do be doing? Moe looked at his hands. He was holding the cleaning cloth, but it wasn’t time for rubbing yet. Moe made a little sing-song sound in his throat. How did Malinda’s verse go? The music would help, if he could just remember it.

                Moe picked up his hand to rub his face. “No, Moe.” He shook his head. “That’s rag has dirt.” Dirt. Dirt … Moe had to get the dirt off the table. But his forehead was itching. Moe put down the squirt bottle.

                “That’s it!” Now that his memory was jostled into action, he had to sing the song before he forgot it again “But quietly,” Moe reminded himself, “or Lee gets mad.”

                Moe sang softly under his breath while he worked. “Spray the table just two times. Wipe it clean until it shines.” A minute later, Moe scratched his head and wondered why he was standing at the other side of the cafeteria.

                Are you working hard, Moe? Moe grinned. Malinda always made him feel happy. Moe, have you finished wiping all the tables? the kind voice asked.

                “No.” Moe put his finger to his lips as soon as he said the words. That was too loud. Behind the cash register, Lee turned around and frowned. “Sorry.” Moe waved at his friend Lee and looked at the tables. “Am I done, Malinda?” he asked. But it was a Saturday, and Malinda didn’t work at the hospital on Saturdays.

                Sometimes it was scary cleaning tables when Malinda wasn’t there, but Moe knew she’d come back, just like she always promised. And then he wouldn’t have to remember everything all by himself. Is the table next to you dirty? Even when Malinda wasn’t at the hospital, she still left him little notes in his mind. Moe kept his finger to his lips so he wouldn’t make Lee angry. “No, I need to clean it,” he whispered to Malinda.

                Moe gave the next table two squirts from the cleaning bottle. “Spray the table just two times…” he hummed, thankful that Monday was only two days away.

                Somewhere in the distance Moe heard the hospital radio telling one of the doctors where to go. He wanted to stop and think about how nice it was when Malinda was there to tell him where to go, but he didn’t want to forget his job. “Wipe it clean until it shines,” Moe sang, proud that he remembered what to do all by himself.

***

Random Fact #22: Before I got married and became a stay-at-home mom, I took the MCAT and was planning to become a doctor.

Love My WIPpet Buds: Thanks to everyone who read, downloaded, and/or reviewed The Beloved Daughter during its free promotion last week!

Join the WIPpets! If you want to join the WIPpet fun, give us an excerpt from your current Work In Progress that has something to do with today's date (like 9 paragraphs from chapter 9 on May 9), then link up here or at My Random Muse




14 comments:

  1. Aw, Moe sounds like a sweetheart! I want to hug him.

    And have I ever been in love with a fictional character? How long have I got to list them all? :D

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    1. Hehe, besides Sam and Moe, I don't have very long of a list actually. I admire a lot of characters, but not to the point of crushing on them very often. :)

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  2. I agree with Emily, Moe comes across as a real sweetheart in this extract. I think you've captured this scene really well and Moe's character shines through. Good stuff!

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    1. Thanks Kate! I think sweetheart was exactly the word I was going for. :)

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  4. I like him, too! I'm interested to see where he fits into the story. (Sorry, that deleted comment was me- I didn't realize I was signed in to blogger)

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    1. Yeah, I do that too because I have two different gmail accounts. No worries. :) Moe doesn't have a huge role at all, but I sure loved writing him in!

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  5. I love the phrase, "left him little notes in his head." What a telling scene you've crafted.

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    1. Thanks Kathi! I just added the little notes part in yesterday, so thanks for the feedback.

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  6. Moe is such a rich character! I am ... I love this piece.

    As for falling in love with fictional characters.... Oh, so many. I adored Sam too. Though I did adore Frodo for his tragic humanity.

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    1. Thanks Eden! Unfortunately, I didn't end up finding much compassion in my heart for Frodo. Heartless of me, I know. I think maybe a little too much of that tragic humanity you mentioned...

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  7. I like Moe! And Melinda. What's his Dx?

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  8. Ah Sam was my favourite too, and I was always a little upset that Frodo got the glory...?!

    I agree, you've built such great layers for Moe - the song and the little notes were great touches. I can see why you have a soft spot for him.

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    1. Thanks Raewyn. We're listening to LOTR in the car with the boys and we just got to the part where Frodo admits "Frodo couldn't have done very much without his Sam." So true!! Glad you liked Moe. Thanks for the feedback!

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