Tuesday, May 28, 2013

WIPpet Wednesday: So Long, Moe

     Well, I've decided to shelf Saving Natalie again. Lord-willing, I'll be working all of June on a new novel project (more details to come), but I'll be posting updates on my blog if you want to stay in touch.

     Since Saving Natalie is about to go to manuscript purgatory, I'll leave you with one more excerpt with Moe. I love this guy so much I doubt my little heart could stand keeping him on the shelf forever. So, until he emerges again to face the light of day, here's Moe and the last 29 sentences of Saving Natalie that you'll see in a while.

***

                “E’cuse me,” he said loudly. “I’m wiping tables.”

                Jake wasn’t feeling particularly patient today. He was about to tell the man to move out of his way when a woman came bustling towards them.

                “Moe,” she called, “you can’t clean that table because there are people still sitting there.”

                “But I need to finish this row.” Moe held up his rag as evidence. Dirty water dripped on Jake’s head.

                “You can finish this row after these nice folks leave. For now start cleaning the table behind them.”

                Jake scowled and wiped his hair. Hospitals are no place for guys like this to be working.

                Moe banged into Jake’s chair as he went by. His Santa hat fell on the floor.

                “Oops…SORRY!” Moe shouted. He reached for his hat and bumped Jake on the knee. 

                Moe smiled and showed Jake the oversized red felt. “It’s for Christmas. It’s what they gave baby Jesus.” Moe struggled to fix his festive headwear but couldn't get it on straight. “Baby Jesus didn’t have a home, you know, so they had to put him outside in the barn, and all he had was a red hat to stay warm. Just like this.”

                Jake was about to nudge Moe away when Jessica stood up and helped him put his Santa hat back on correctly.

                “Thank you.” Moe smiled at Jessica. “You're pretty,” he said and squinted his eyes in what Jake had to guess was an attempted wink. “Sorry about your baby.” Jake looked at Jessica, who looked as confused as he felt. “God took care of baby Jesus, too.”

                “All right, Moe,” the woman beside him cajoled. “Let’s finish one more row and then you can have a cinnamon bun.” At the mention of a sticky sweet treat, Moe went right back to work. As he wiped the next table, he hummed Silent Night to himself, a little bit too loudly and pathetically out of tune.

***
Random Fact: I volunteered as a candy-striper for about four years as a teenager.

Love My WIPpet Buds: If you didn't see it, fellow WIPpeter Kate Frost interviewed me on her blog. I'm going to return the favor soon because THE BUTTERFLY STORM IS ABOUT TO BE RELEASED!!!

Join the WIPpets! If you want to join the WIPpet fun, give us an excerpt from your current Work In Progress that has something to do with today's date (like 29 sentences for May 29), then link up at My Random Muse.


13 comments:

  1. I think I said this last time you posted a WIPpet featuring Moe, but he is such a sweetheart! I love his interaction with Jessica. And it's really sad that so many people share Jake's "this is no place for someone like him" attitude.

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    1. Thanks Emily! Yeah, unfortunately I kind of had that attitude once. Life threw us sme curves and alli can say is it ain't there no more (thankfully!)

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  2. Love Moe! And you write him so well. I missed the interview (and a lot of other things the past week or so) but shall run right over and take a look. Can't wait to hear details on the new project!

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    1. Thanks Kathi! Busy time of year, isn't it? Haha, if you hear details of the next project before I do, please let me know!

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    2. Will do! You know how projects seem to find me even when I'm absolutely not looking. Who knows, maybe yours will breeze by. ;)

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  3. How can anyone not love Moe! It says a lot about Jake, his reaction to Moe and I agree with Emily that sadly there are too many people who have that small-minded attitude. I think you've captured his voice brilliantly and his physical presence - the clumsiness and just not being aware of his actions and there impact on other people (like holding up the dish rag and dripping dirty water on jake's head).

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    1. I like how you summed it all up so succinctly. Moe is well meaning, but quite clumsy (and large). Big teddy bear type.

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  4. Like Kathi I missed, but will catch up... totally catch up and I'm almost finished The Beloved Daughter - so am still hoping to promote the NZ leg of the blog tour. (Has only taken this long because hard to get hold of the ipad in our house to read it).

    Love Moe - and Jake's impatience in this scene. Seems when you're struggling with your own stuff, it can be hard to be gracious. And of course of all the people Moe could bump in to... It's lovely. Don't leave him on the shelf too long.

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    1. Thanks Raewyn, this was so encouraging to me!

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  5. Awww! The red hat is adorable! I feel a little sorry for Jake because someone dripped nasty, dirty, caustic-chemical-filled, hospital-germ-drenched water on his head (*shudder* - not sure I'd react kindly to that myself), but I also want to tell him to lighten up because Moe is doing his best. I like Jessica. =0)

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    1. Yeah, the water thing is pretty ick.

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  6. I kind of feel for all of the characters here.

    Jake's in a tough place and clearly uncomfortable (plus made to feel even more so, not out of unkindness, but lack of awareness, by Moe)--not to mention that even the most sympathetic person can be caught at a wrong moment, especially when s/he feels like s/he's been told to move during a meal.

    Moe is sweet, but in the end his lack of awareness of others could make him difficult to deal with, especially if someone either has a lack of sleep or is trying to process a terrible situation (both of which happen in hospitals frequently). The part with the hat rounds this scene out so that he's not coming off as thoughtless (I know he's not, but certain things, such as the water on Jake's head or trying to wash the table despite Jake's presence could give that impression).

    Jessica seems nice, but she's not the highlight here.

    Moe's assistant/watcher also has my sympathies. It's never pleasant to always be mending bridges that shouldn't need mending if we were a more sympathetic society.

    (I love how you made every person stand out as unique.)

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    1. Eden, thanks so much for the thoroughness of your reading! Not only was it helpful for me to see how the characters come across, it was an honor you took time to read (and comment) that closely!

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