Tuesday, June 25, 2013

WIPpet Wednesday: "Take Me First"



WIPpet Wednesday: A sneak peek at a scene from Not Alone.

***

            Hannah squinted when the door to her dark cell clicked open. “Bring the girl to me,” ordered a voice from outside.

            David jerked against his restraints. “No, take me first.”

            Hannah didn’t have the courage to look at him. She waited in silence as a guard unbuckled her handcuffs and yanked her toward the open door.

            “God be with you!” David’s shout echoed in the concrete cell. Hannah turned her head back as David called out, "I won't stop praying for you!”

            Hannah wondered if she would ever see David again. “Nor I you,” she whispered. The guard led her away.

***

Please join my email list if you want more information about my progress on Not Alone!

16 comments:

  1. This is a very foreboding scene - how come you ended up cutting it? Congrats on making it past 50,000 words! Hope you get the other 8-10k written so you can fully enjoy your date night. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. A worrisome scene indeed. Isn't it funny how we keep our writing in our heads even when we're out doing something fun? Congrats on hitting 50k. And no problem keeping your baby hidden from the world for now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I'm hoping we can think of something to talk about other than writing!

      Delete
  3. I understand. I wasn't like that with my babies, but I am like that with most first draft stuff. I can wait for more, and I'll keep the sanitizer handy. :)

    Very moving. I got a little teary there, and I don't even know these characters!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wasn't like that with my firs baby (the human kind) but my second had a lot of medical issues so we had to be really careful.

      Delete
  4. This is really good and I agree with Kate, it's kind of ominous. Will they ever see each other again? And what's the connection between the two of them? Seeing as you cut it, I guess I might never know lol. But I'm guessing what you're keeping is even better than this! :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, there's a lot more of their story and relationship in the first draft than what you get here!

      Delete
  5. No need for confessions, in my opinion... It sounds like you're doing exactly what you need to do for your stories. And even when we might choose a different technique, we get it.... You have to be ready to let go before you can actually do it.

    A for the scene... Sounds like nothing good was afoot. I'm curious as to why you cut it, though I know how the best written, most foreboding scene written can need trimming if it doesn't fit the story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No, nothing good except it's kind of sweet he was trying to protect her even in that situation

      Delete
  6. I don't know what's worse being taken or being left behind... Nicely done, even though it is being cut. I hope you get it finished before Thursday night so hubby can have your full attention!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Raewyn! We're excited about tonight!

      Delete
  7. This is all going to end in tears, isn't it?! TEARS!

    ... which is to say, I love this WIPpet, even if it is didn't make the final cut.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm... I'll have to make someone puke...

      Delete
  8. Well, that was very ominous! I agree with Raewyn, I don't know if it's worse to be her dragged out to who knows what, or left behind until who knows when!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Awww... now I'm going to wonder where it belonged when I read JNWMD1.

    ReplyDelete