Saving Daylight

This post appears in the Christian Home Magazine. Check it out!

     I have a love-hate relationship with Daylight Savings. If you hooked me up to a lie detector, however, I'd have to admit that it's mostly hate.

     I used to love gaining a whole extra hour in the fall when Daylight Savings time ends. I basically had an entire hour to spend however I wanted: staying up late watching a movie with hubby, soaking in the tub with a book, or sleeping for a whole extra hour in my cozy bed.

     Then I had kids, and - like everything else in life - that all changed.

     When my baby woke up at 5:00 the Sunday after Daylight Savings ended, I couldn't blame him. I couldn't tell him, "You forgot to reset your clock. Go back to sleep." In his mind, 5:00 am was a perfect time to open his eyes, sit up in his Pack 'N Play, and scream hysterically until Mama picked him up and started off the day right, with a yummy homemade breakfast of breastmilk, literally made from scratch.

     So, in a last desperate attempt to find peace with having an hour of my life legislated away via Congressional mandate, I set my sights towards spring. If my kids wake up too early when Daylight Savings time ends, then they'd obviously sleep in when Daylight Savings time begins.

     I was wrong (something else I've gotten quite used to now that I'm a mom). Because even though my kids usually wake up a little bit later than they normally would if you're going by the clock in the spring, it's no earlier according to my biological metronome.

     C'est la vie, I suppose. But I still wonder at the audacity of a government that literally borrows an hour of my life with a promise to pay it back half a year later.

     As a matter of fact, there's a lot about time that I don't get. For example, while we're enjoying an early-spring blizzard on this Sunday afternoon, a friend in New Zealand is planting tubers in the hot New Zealand sun sometime Monday. And don't even get me started on all the questions I have about God and the great metaphysical wristwatch of the universe. Like, for example, if God exists outside of time, does it help if I pray for people in the past? If God already knows what I'm going to pray even before I pray it, does that mean my prayers might work retroactively? (Let me go on like this for a few more minutes and I'll wind up with a headache and still be no closer to the truth.)

     Anyway, I hope many of you out there are enjoying whatever benefits Daylight Savings brings to those of us commoners in the US. As for me, I'm off for my Sunday nap.

Tweetables:

Daylight Savings: Good for farmers, bad for moms. 

I have a love-hate realtionship with DaylightSavings. Mostly hate.

If you think Daylight Savings is mildly mind-boggling, have you ever thought about time travel? Stay tuned for information about "What, No Sushi," my soon-to-be-released kids chapter book about three boys who go back to relive some family history!

Short Story: A Surprise for Garret

      I'm killing two birds with one stone this week, which is probably a breach in some law of blogging etiquette stored up somewhere in cyberspace, but what can I do? I've decided to participate in the Friday writing prompt sponsored by Westbow Press. After all, they've named my novel a finalist in their writing contest. The least I can do is join their Friday fun, right?

    But I've also really enjoyed participating in Hidden Valley Simplicity's word of the week blog hop, and I'm already about to miss the linkup deadline.

    So here's the skinny. Westbow Press wants me to write a story about a celebration. Melissa wants me to throw the word adumbrate in my post ... so here it is! My vocabulary-enriched short story about a celebration that just might go terribly wrong.

Word of the Week: adumbrate: 
                              1. to foreshadow vaguely
                              2. to suggest, disclose, or outline partially
                              3. overshadow; obscure

    It was the first time that Sadie, the poster puppy of canine ADD, didn't come bounding out to greet Garret when he came home from work. Garret was busy laughing into his hands-free headset to actually miss the beagle's enthusiastic drool. Nor did he pause to wonder if Sadie's absence might adumbrate what was waiting for him on the eve of his birthday.

     "No, Chelsea's not home." Garret walked with something of a swagger as he spoke, tossing his shoes in the entryway. "I can talk a little longer." Sadie whined from the office.

     "Yeah, that's the dog," he continued. "Stupid mutt. Got herself stuck." He chuckled and threw his overcoat over the couch. "I'll go let her out before she wets the carpet or something." Garret smiled and strode down the hallway. He stopped as he went by the laundry room.

     "Oh, I forgot to tell you at lunch today." He leaned against the laundry room door frame and loosened his tie. "I told Chelsea I was out of work shirts this morning. We got into this big fight, because she told me she washed everything in the hamper yesterday and I told her if that was the case I'd have something clean to wear to work. So she's scurrying to do a quick load of laundry, and I realize I actually left my shirt in your car last weekend after our little outing." Garret's laugh echoed in the otherwise quiet hallway. From behind the office door, Sadie stopped whimpering.

     "Anyway," Garret went on, "I better go soon. I have no idea when Chelsea will be home." His lip curled up halfway as he listened to the remark on the other end of the conversation. "I wish so too," he replied, scratching his cheek. "But tomorrow's my birthday. I won't have any free evenings until the weekend." A charmingly sympathetic pout appeared on Garret's face that no one was around to witness. "We'll still have lunch though, right?"

     Sadie yelped from behind the office door. "Ok," Garret announced, cell phone in hand, "I gotta go. This stupid dog is about to - "

     The door opened. The talking stopped. The phone dropped to the floor. In Garret's home office stood his wife, his brother and sister-in-law, the next door neighbors, and two of his co-workers. Everyone was standing underneath a banner with the word SURPRISE printed in oversize letters made of confetti.

     Garret removed his headset in one swift motion as his beagle ran up to greet him.

Wednesday WIPpet: "Trip to the Past"

     Today was an exciting day for me as a writer. I just got my final (keep your fingers crossed) round of edits for my soon-to-be-published kids' book, "What, No Sushi?"

     This chapter book for elementary-aged students is the first book in My Solar-Powered History series, which features three adventurous boys who experience their family history with a little help from their inventor father. I've been working with a great editor from Do Life Right, Inc., and we're hoping for an early-spring release (again with the fingers crossed).

     This week's WIPpet includes six paragraphs from chapter 3 of "What, No Sushi."

***     

“Trip to the past?” Benson repeated. “What does he mean?”

Benson stared at the letter thoughtfully, then ran over to Kimuko. “Um, what year is it?” he asked.

“What?” Kimuko looked confused. Benson repeated his question. Kimuko looked over at me with a puzzled look in her eyes. I just shrugged.

“Why, it’s 1942, of course,” the girl answered.

Benson ran back to us. By then I had figured out what was going on. “Dad’s solar-powered invention isn’t a flying machine at all,” I declared.

“It’s a time machine!” we all exclaimed.

***

Do you WIPpet? You should! Include part of your WIP (Work In Progress) that has something to do with today's date (like six paragraphs from chapter three on 3/6). Then come back and link here on at My Random Muse. 

Tweetables:
A short excerpt from "What, No Sushi?" for kids.  
Do you WIPpet? You should!
Check out a new time travel history series for kids. 

R-Rated Scripture

What's up with this photo?

This post appears in the 103rd edition of the Christian Home Magazine. Check it out!

     A few months ago I had this great idea to start reading Genesis to my boys chapter by chapter for our morning devotions. I figured that my boys were ready to move beyond the Bible storybooks we have and delve into God's pure, unadulterated Word.

    And after making my grand announcement and making our way victoriously through the creation account, I remembered what else is in Genesis. Not much pure or unadulterated there, at least as far as the characters are concerned. Like valiant explorers, my boys and I stumbled our way through the Bible's depiction of Noah's drunken nakedness, Abraham's polygamist affair with Hagar, Sarah's near-rape by the Egyptian king. We got to Sodom and Gomorrah and even choked our way through that, only to find that the very next day I was supposed to read my seven, five, and three year-olds the story when Lot's daughter's got him drunk so he could father their children. After just describing (in hopefully dumbed-down terms) why the men of Sodom were so wicked God chose to destroy them, I just didn't have the stomach to read about Lot's daughters as well.

     When it comes right down to it, not many Bible stories would pass conservative family screening practices. You have Ruth laying down at the feet of an inebriated Boaz with a marriage proposal in the middle of the night. In Numbers 25, you have an Israelite and his Midianite mistress killed when a spear pierces completely through both of their bodies. (Care to guess what position they were in when this couple was shish kebobed?) Not to mention all the strange, bizarre, and lewd behavior going on in the early chapters of the Holy Book. I mean, have you read all those laws in Leviticus? They were apparently put there for some reasons that I don't even want to know.

     Then there's the pure violence, which would automatically turn the Bible into an R movie even without all the kinky bedroom behavior. You've got entrails spilling out onto the floor on more than one occasion. You've got former first-lady Jezebel thrown out a window with dogs licking up her blood. I'm not even going to mention what the people resorted to when under intense siege and on the brink of starvation.

     There's also the language to deal with. What do you think Paul is talking about in Galatians 5:12 when he tells believers who are a little too zealous for circumcision to "cut themselves off"? Samson accuses the groomsmen at his own wedding of "plowing with his heifer." (Care to guess what he's referring to there?) Peter was a bona fide potty-mouth. Even God pushes the envelope by telling Job to "gird up his loins like a man." Modern translation? Put on your undies and man up!

     As if the sex, violence, and language weren't enough, the Bible also has plenty of cases of the terrifying, bizarre, and sheer insane. There's a crazy woman cutting off her son's foreskin to appease the angel of the Lord who came after Moses with a vendetta. There's a demon-possessed man breaking his chains, cutting himself to shreds, and living amongst the caves. (Have you ever dared wonder what he ate?) I defy you to find any horror movie with creepier premises than what you'll find in the Bible's 66 sacred books. Just Revelation itself has more terror than the contents of Steven King's own nightmares. What makes these prophecies even more terrifying is that you know they're going to come true.

     I guess what I love about Scripture is that it doesn't sugar-coat its accounts to make its stories more acceptable or family-friendly. I admit that's made for some awkward discussions around the breakfast table. But I figure if God wrote it, I'd better be prepared to read it to my kids.

     Just don't blame me for skipping over the part about Lot and his daughters.

What about you? Do you "censor" Bible stories for your kids? Or can you think of anything else I should have included in my list of R-rated Bible stories?

Westbow Press Prompt: Neighbors

     If you've followed my Wednesday WIPpets, you'll have noticed that my novel, "The Beloved Daughter," was recently named a finalist in the Women of Faith writing competition. Since this contest is sponsored by Westbow Press, I decided to check out their website and stumbled across their blog. Turns out that Friday is writing prompt day, and today's prompt is all about neighbors.

     We live in a small circle of houses and share back fences with our neighbors on all three sides. The woman who lives directly behind us is on her back porch all the time. Why? Because she's a smoker.

     Ms. Fence and I probably wouldn't know each other at all if it weren't for her regular habit of enjoying a cigarette on the back porch several times a day, and for my sons' regular habit of pulling down and breaking our curtain rod. Thanks to our usually-curtainless existence, Ms. Fence has seen me through my living room window in my pajamas. She's seen me in my bath towel. She's seen me practicing "Thriller" before chaperoning the high school homeschool dance with my husband.

     Ms. Fence and I smile when we see each other, but we don't know one another at all. The only information we have about each other is based on what we observe through my room. She sees a mom who apparently has more important things to do than get dressed first thing in the morning - a Michael Jackson wanna-be who occasionally busts a move in the middle of her otherwise domestic duties.

     I see a woman who smokes quite a lot, whose dogs like to bark at my boys in the summer when everyone is playing outside. But that's all. I don't know where Ms. Fence works, what hobbies she enjoys, where she grew up. I don't even know her real name.

     A few months ago, I went several months without seeing Ms. Fence and wondered with disappointment if she quit smoking. Of course, it would be better for her health to give up her habit, but what about our mid-morning waves to each other when I wander in front of the window wearing my pj's and sporting a towel on my wet head? I found myself missing Ms. Fence's smile and was actually glad when I saw her on her porch again last month, cigarette in hand.

     Maybe Ms. Fence was out of town for those few months. Maybe she tried to give up smoking and failed. Whatever the reason, I was glad to see those smiles again from across the back fence.

     I hope for her own health that Ms. Fence actually decides to quit smoking for good one day. But until then, I'm going to enjoy our silent greetings each morning. I'm also going to make it a point to learn her real name. That way if I do stop seeing her across the fence, I won't feel so awkward walking up to her front door one day and saying hi.

    

"The Beloved Daughter" Excerpt: Last Image

     Inspectors broke into our cabin in the middle of the night.

     “Get up!” a raspy voice demanded as the door crashed in. Snow blew all the way to my bedside. Partially blinded by the flashlights, I wrapped myself more tightly in my blanket. I was too stunned to even tremble.

     Is this part of the inspection? I wondered. Are they going to interrogate us here in the middle of the night? Mother moaned and wrapped Father’s coat around his shoulders. Where does she think he’ll be going on a night like this?

     A man with dozens of pock-mark scars on his face strode to my parents’ side of the cabin. He wore the badge of the People’s Safety Agency [from North Korea (WIPpeter's note)] on his dark green overcoat. His heavy boots shook the floor with each forceful stomp he took. When he grabbed Father by the neck and yanked him out of bed, I yelped like a wounded animal.  

 

     The scar-faced man turned on his heel without letting go of my father and pointed at me. “The girl,” Pock-Marks ordered in a hoarse rasp, and immediately two officers were towering over my bedside. I bit my lip to keep from crying when I saw the guns swinging from their hips. I covered my face with my hands, trying to disappear by sheer force of will. I squeaked as the younger of the two officers lifted me up and swung me over his shoulder so that I was hanging down over his back. Mother ran towards them with my coat, but they ignored both her pathetic pleading and my frantic kicking.      

     “Take her to the precinct office,” ordered the scar-faced leader, and before I had time to call out again, I was outside in the wind and snow. Still in my nightgown, with no shoes or coat or blanket to ward off the biting cold, I hung helplessly over the young officer’s shoulder, nauseous from fear. 

     I strained my neck and saw Father standing in the doorway as soldiers roughly shoved him forward. He was staring straight ahead. He winced in pain as they fastened his wrists, then turned to see me watching him. Weakly, Father smiled at me, nodding his head slightly in my direction. As the officer carrying me turned a sharp corner, I clung desperately to that last image of Father.

One Lovely Blog Award - TMI Edition

     OMG (and by "G" I mean goodness) - I'm so excited! My BFF Regi just nominated me for the "One Lovely Blog" Award. Not only do I get the fame, publicity and (maybe even) fortune I dreamed of when I first started this blog, but I get to display this gorgeous picture right here on my post! Ahh! I'm so I excited I'm ROTFHMSIDPMP! (That's rolling on the floor holding myself so I don't pee my pants for those of you who don't speak text-ese.)

     So here is a ginormous TYVM (thank you very much) to Regi, who herself is OLB (one lovely blogger). Oh, and you guys should see all the really nice things she said to flatter me in her blog. Then you'll get why we're BFF. Thanks, Regi! LULAS!

     In order to accept the OLB award, I've got to tell you all seven random facts about myself. So in the name of full disclosure, here are seven tidbits about yours truly that will either have you ROTFL, or rolling your eyes and grumbling about TMI.

1. I wet the bed once, which wouldn't be so embarrassing if it didn't happen after Phillip and I were already married. In my defense, I had a horrible cough from a sinus infection and was seven months pregnant. Believe it or not, my husband (who is quite the comedian) hasn't teased me about it once. Yup, he's a keeper.

2. Want to know about my very first kiss? It came from a gay guy friend in college who apparently decided to have identity issues shortly after we met. Long story.

3. I am terrified of fish. Absolutely, paralyzingly terrified. I was attacked by a school of fish snorkeling with my family in Hawaii when I was twelve. That same year my brother's pet guppy committed suicide while having little guppy babies, which were delivered on our counter top. Fish have frightened me ever since. I dare you to tell me I'm overreacting.

4. I don't need to shave my legs when I am pregnant. You might be tempted to envy me, so let me tell you that apparently my back starts growing all the hair that my legs don't. (I warned you about TMI, right?)

5. I was a pommer in high school. During one of the spirit assemblies my squad and I performed this really cute dance routine. I discovered about five minutes later that the little grey tee that was part of my uniform had pit stains the size of grapefruits. Not the greatest boost to my poor teenaged self-esteem.

6. Speaking of grey shirts, when my oldest son was a baby he cried nonstop in the car. I once got to church after a twenty minute drive from a friend's house. Nate had been screaming the entire way. Nate's crying bothered me so much I leaked through my nursing pads and all over my shirt. Unfortunately I didn't discover my nice little fashion statement until I went in to the bathroom to change his diaper several minutes later.

7. I once squirt stomach acid on a complete stranger by accident. How did I manage that feat? I was "burping" my tube-fed son, which means I hooked up his feeding tube to let some extra gas escape before giving him his milk. The tube detached at just the wrong time at just the wrong angle. If you were every baptized by sprinkling with gastric juice while standing in line at the zoo, please accept my apologies.

     Now that you know way TMI about me and my strange little quirks (bodily and otherwise), it's time for me to pass on the love and nominate seven other lovely bloggers for this coveted award. I hereby nominate:

Cari at Faith's Mom's Blog. Cari is a special-needs mother who is a strong Chrisian and encouraging writer. I can't wait for her book to be out. And I'm thrilled she wanted to read mine! Cari is truly one beautiful blogger! (I also imagine she's quite busy, so there's no pressure to participate in this little award if you aren't able to.)

Out One Ear is the story of a mother with an adult daughter with disabilities. I love reading about how she supports her newly-married daughter to be more and more independent.

Rachel blogs at This Journey Our Life and is another of the special-needs mothers I'm blessed to follow. She has a tender, mothering heart and is truly one beautiful blogger.

Hidden Valley Simplicity is a blog I recently discovered and really enjoy for its Wednesday word of the week link ups. On Wednesday Melissa gives you two new vocabulary words that you need to work into a short story. We'd love to have more writers join the fun!

Baker is our Dream Come True is written by the mother of a beautiful baby boy with Down's Syndrome. Jennifer's words are true poetry and encouragement for anyone on the special-needs journey.

Vanessa's blog really caught my attention because her son has a G-tube, just like mine. Vanessa has been great at raising awareness for tube-fed children and should probably win the SuperMom award in addition to One Lovely Blogger.

Arctic Pyro is Lighly Salted's only male follower as well as the only friend of mine who replied to my Liebester post. He doesn't have a blog but is welcome to leave seven random facts about himself in the comments section. (He is limited however, to mentioning his mustache only ONCE.)

     I know you guys are plenty busy with life and writing, but if you do participate in the One Lovely Blog award, please stop back here and leave your link in the comments section. For those of you who actually read the fine print, here are the official rules: Thank your nominator (preferably by buying her book - wink, wink - and by following her blog, otherwise by just mentioning her in your post and including a link). Copy the One Lovely Blogger picture. Give seven random facts about yourself. Nominate seen other bloggers. Let the bloggers KNOW you nominated them. Come back and include a link to your post in my comments section. GLAHB (Good luck and happy blogging!)

TTYL!