Finish The Sentence: Overcoming

senior picture

     When I was a kid, I was plagued with horrific shyness. Some of my earliest memories involve hiding behind the leg of one of my parents. By junior high and high school, I could hold a conversation without having to run away, but I was riddled with such poor self-esteem it's a small miracle I survived my teen years with relatively few scars.

     As a teenager, I was respected, but I never felt like I belonged. I had the perpetual feeling of being everybody's kid sister. When my high school reunion came and went a few years ago, I actually found myself wishing I could afford the trip across the country to make it.

     Why? Why would I have wanted to throw myself back in the mix with the crowd that always left me feeling out-shined, under-estimated, and over-looked? Because I've changed.

     I'm not the shy little girl I was in elementary school. I'm not the emotionally-needy, wishy-washy, love addict I was as a teenager. I still want to feel like I belong. I still want people to like me. As a writer, I still have to psych myself up for days to make a cold-call about a book signing. My head does a little dizzy spin when I run across a reviewer who didn't think my novel was exceptional, thrilling, heart-wrenching, and inspirational (all at the same time). But I can stand on my own two feet and look others in the eye and say, "This is who I am. I'm not flexible enough anymore to bend over backwards in hopes that you'll accept me."

     In twenty more years, I hope to have even fewer fears and even more confidence. But for now, I look back at where I've come from, see how far I've come, and say an inner prayer of thanks.

Random Fact: I graduated number 11 in my class, but probably would have rather been on homecoming court...


Do you love me? So I can wax poetic about how much I've overcome my need to feel accepted, but if you REALLY wanted to make me feel good about myself, you could buy my new novel on amazon!

 
Blog Love: Today's Finish the Sentence Friday prompt was, "When I was young, I..." Thanks to Finish the Sentence Friday Hosts: Kate of Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine…, Janine of Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic, Stephanie of Mommy, for Real and Dawn of Dawn's Disaster!

    

Inspiration: Normalization

Who's to say this guy isn't normal?

     My son Silas is five years old and is just now learning to eat. A traumatic brain injury left Silas unable to swallow anything at all until quite recently. We are now nearly to the end of our three-week trial of feeding Silas everything by mouth. This is the first time in his life that Silas has not used a tube to give him his food.

     When I told my boys about Silas' three-week trial, Nate (like the adoring big brother he is) gasped, hugged Silas, and exclaimed, "Now you'll be normal!"

     A lot of progress has been made in "normalizing" disabilities. We have laws in place to prevent kids from discrimination. Our city is currently building a state of the art, fully accessible playground so that even children with wheelchairs can play, climb, swing, and have a blast. We celebrate the Special Olympics, we post buttons on our blogs raising special-needs awareness, and we have weeks of the year devoted to all kinds of syndromes, disorders, and diseases. Kids with disabilities are often integrated into mainstream classrooms in school and get to interact with their able-bodied peers. I am so thankful to be raising my tube-fed son in a world that is more tolerant, more gracious, and more accepting than it was when I was a child.

     Unfortunately, kids literature seems to be on the lagging end of the progressive movement to normalize disabilities. How many books can you name about kids with autism, or cerebral palsy, or a chromosomal abnormality? If your son has a feeding tube like mine, can you just walk into Barnes and Noble and ask for a book about a tube-fed child?

     When I started writing My Solar-Powered History series, I decided (at the last minute, actually) to give one of the characters a feeding tube. It's not a major part of the plot. The fact that one of the Otis boys has special needs is not the main focus of the book. It wouldn't even count as a sub-plot, in my opinion.

meet Benson

     But that's how I see my son Silas. I see a boy who plays the piano for several hours a day, who loves to write stories, who guffaws at his own jokes and has perfect comedic timing, who loves animals to a fault, and who happens to have a feeding tube. The character Benson in My Solar-Powered History series also enjoys music, also loves animals, and also happens to eat differently than most people.

     I see great promise for children these days who grow up with disabilities. And I hope that in some small way, my series about a boy who just happens to get his nourishment in a different way than us "normal" folks will help pave the way for further normalization of kids with disabilities in children's literature, and maybe make one or two other tube-fed kids like Silas very, very happy.

Random Fact #23: I spent about two weeks homeless after I graduated college and didn't know what to do once I was "all growed up."

Check It Out: What, No Sushi? (the first book in My Solar-Powered History series) is on sale now!

Blog Love: The Thursday's Children blog hop is a chance for authors to write about what inspires them. Thanks again to Rhiann Wynn-Nolet and Kristina Perez for hosting, and everyone else ... consider yourselves invited to join the blog hop fun!
    

WIPpet Wednesday: "The Verdict"

      Hi WIPpeters! Surprisingly enough, I don't have a whole lot of chit-chat today. If you missed my responses to the Versatile Blogger award from Emily, I ended up writing last week about 7 books that changed my life. Thanks, Emily, for the nomination! And thanks, Kathi, our fearless WIPpet hostess for another great week of WIPpet love. And now, without further ado, here's 15 sentences from page 15 of Saving Natalie. 

***

“I need a pregnancy test.” Jessica stared unblinking at the health center receptionist. She didn’t lower her gaze. After all, just about any other college co-ed could find herself in the same situation. There was nothing to be ashamed of. Still, the fact that the guy who may have knocked her up probably didn't even know her name was a little unsettling.

And what if she really was pregnant? She’d have to stop dancing if she wanted to keep the kid. She might have to give up school all together. Her parents wouldn’t pay for her to go to college and raise an illegitimate baby, and there was no way she could afford tuition, housing, and child-care all at the same time. Her mom would worry about what her friends would say. Her dad would be heartbroken, of course, but at least he would look at things rationally.

“Follow me.” The campus health worker wore a short skirt and jet black blazer jacket. Jessica tried to smile, but it was all she could do to keep from throwing up on the bleached-white linoleum as she followed the nurse down the hallway to hear the verdict.

***

Random Fact #25: I am currently listening to "On My Own" from the 25th anniversary concert of Les Miserables.

Writing Fun: On Tuesday I was a guest on the Slush Heap discussion group with three other inspirational authors. The hostess gave a very nice plug for The Beloved Daughter and my special-needs memoir, but unfortunately my microphone didn't work so I had to participate in the hour-long event via chat! (Lots of smiling and nodding.)

Blog Love: If you want to join the WIPpet fun, give us an excerpt from your current Work In Progress that has something to do with today's date (like 15 sentences from chapter 15 on May 15), then link up here or at My Random Muse.

Finish The Sentence: Don't Forget The Fun Stuff

     When I lead youth group with my husband, I've often told the teens that I've never been as busy as
I was in high school. And that was totally true.

     Until now.

What's up with this photo?

     I spent the first five years of my motherhood journey as a stay-at-home mom in a single-car family. We didn't get out much, as you can imagine. And with a special-needs baby and kids who caught ten colds a year, that scheduled worked out fine for us.

     Then I started homeschooling. We got a second car. I started a small business leading acadmic clubs. Things were busy, but comfortable.

     Then I started writing again.

     I have to admit I'm still on some kind of adrenaline rush from publishing The Beloved Daughter. I'm already daydreaming and plotting my next novel. I don't want to stop.

     My husband works exceptionally hard so I can remain a stay-at-home mom, and I don't want to shirk my duties raising and educating my children, no matter how exciting the writing life may be. So this summer, I want to be sure to play lots of games, go on lots of bike rides, explore lots of trails, read lots of books, and study lots of things with my boys. I know it sounds cheesy, but I even made a little code on the calendar to make sure that I'm staying as involved with them as a I should. I keep track of how many days we do reading, history, and science, but I'm also tracking the really fun stuff like hikes and bike rides and field trips and park play dates.

     Our summers up here are short, but oh so sweet, and there's no way I want to blow our whole six weeks of beautiful, gorgeous, perfect weather sitting indoors writing a book.

     No matter how fun I think that would be.

Blog Love: Today's Finish the Sentence Friday prompt was, "This summer, I plan to..." Thanks to Finish the Sentence Friday Hosts: Kate of Can I Get Another Bottle of Whine…, Janine of Janine’s Confessions of a Mommyaholic, Stephanie of Mommy, for Real and Dawn of Dawn's Disaster!

Random Fact #24: The hottest temperature I've been in was about 115 F. The coldest was negative 50.

In Case You Missed It: The Beloved Daughter is a suspense novel about a young girl sent to a North Korean prison camp. Be sure to check it out if you haven't already! Available in ebook or paperback.

Literary Things: Seven Books That Changed My Life

What's up with this photo?

     One of my WIPpet buddies, Emily, nominated several of us WIPpeters for the versatile blog award. I get to tell you seven things about myself. And do you know what? Since all of us WIPpeters are literary types, I'm going to tell you about the seven books that have most changed my life. And guess what else? This just makes the perfect post to include in Thursday's Children link up, where authors talk about what inspires them!

Classics

1. Crime and Punishment. If Dostoevsky had never written his masterpiece, I would have never met my husband. A love affair with Russian literature led to a short trip to Russia. Said trip to Russia led me to my husband-to-be (who is quite American, by the way, but who has been to Russia twice).

2. Anna Karenina. This was an obvious next-step for me after reading Crime and Punishment. Dostoevsky opened the door to Russian lit. Tolstoy created a breathtaking mansion and invited me to stay forever.

3. Les Miserables. No other work makes me prouder to be part of the human race, inspires me to be a more loving person, or inflicts me with such pity for those who suffer unjustly.

Christian Lit

4. Safely Home. This novel by Randy Alcorn holds the distinction of being the first book that ever made me cry.

5. The Zion Chronicles. This was the first historical fiction series I ever read. The author did an amazing job weaving a dozen or so plots and subplots together. I realized that if a person could pay such great attention to the details in her character's lives, then God must be infinitely more in control of my own life. A profound and important lesson for me to learn as a teen.


Kids Lit

6. The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle. This remains one of my favorite adventure stories. If you haven't read it, think Treasure Island with a little more grit and with a girl protagonist instead of Jim Hawkins. This novel by Avi was the first book I read that had swearing in it. At first I felt guilty in that dangerous, this-is-kind-of-exciting kind of way. It was the first time a book ever made me feel rebellious.

7. Percy Jackson. Since I grew up in a conservative home where fantasy reading was not encouraged or even allowed, it was a huge stretch for me to let my son pick up the Percy Jackson series. I read each book as well so we could discuss the story, and I'm happy to say that Rick Riordan successfully shattered my preconceived notions about the acceptability of fantasy literature in a Christian home.

What About You? Add your most influential books in the comment section!

Random Fact #25: My first fight with Phillip was about Crime and Punishment. We were arguing about whether Dostoevsky intended the reader to sympathize with Raskolnikov or not. I was right. My husband was wrong.

Blog Hop Love: The Thursday's Children blog hop is for authors to write about what inspires them. Thanks again to Rhiann Wynn-Nolet and Kristina Pere for hosting, and everyone else ... consider yourselves invited to join the blog hop fun!

Versatile Blogger Award: The rules for the Versatile Blogger award are as follows:

1. Thank and link to the person who gave you the award.
2. Tell seven facts about yourself.
3. Pass it on to seven other bloggers.
4. Link to specific posts on their blogs so they’ll be notified by pingback

Nominees: 

• Elaine
• Christabelle
• Rachel
• Joy
• Kristi
• Kate
• Rhiann

WIPpet Wednesday: "Wipe It Clean"

     Have you ever fallen in love with a fictitious character? I had a huge literary crush on Samwise Gamgee, which is the only reason I finished the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy. And even though it may be the epitome of ego-centrism, I have to admit that I'm very fond of Moe, whom you get to week in this week's WIPpet Wednesday submission.

     Here are nine paragraphs from chapter nine of Saving Natalie.

***

                Moe furrowed his brow and pouted at his rag. What was he supposed to do be doing? Moe looked at his hands. He was holding the cleaning cloth, but it wasn’t time for rubbing yet. Moe made a little sing-song sound in his throat. How did Malinda’s verse go? The music would help, if he could just remember it.

                Moe picked up his hand to rub his face. “No, Moe.” He shook his head. “That’s rag has dirt.” Dirt. Dirt … Moe had to get the dirt off the table. But his forehead was itching. Moe put down the squirt bottle.

                “That’s it!” Now that his memory was jostled into action, he had to sing the song before he forgot it again “But quietly,” Moe reminded himself, “or Lee gets mad.”

                Moe sang softly under his breath while he worked. “Spray the table just two times. Wipe it clean until it shines.” A minute later, Moe scratched his head and wondered why he was standing at the other side of the cafeteria.

                Are you working hard, Moe? Moe grinned. Malinda always made him feel happy. Moe, have you finished wiping all the tables? the kind voice asked.

                “No.” Moe put his finger to his lips as soon as he said the words. That was too loud. Behind the cash register, Lee turned around and frowned. “Sorry.” Moe waved at his friend Lee and looked at the tables. “Am I done, Malinda?” he asked. But it was a Saturday, and Malinda didn’t work at the hospital on Saturdays.

                Sometimes it was scary cleaning tables when Malinda wasn’t there, but Moe knew she’d come back, just like she always promised. And then he wouldn’t have to remember everything all by himself. Is the table next to you dirty? Even when Malinda wasn’t at the hospital, she still left him little notes in his mind. Moe kept his finger to his lips so he wouldn’t make Lee angry. “No, I need to clean it,” he whispered to Malinda.

                Moe gave the next table two squirts from the cleaning bottle. “Spray the table just two times…” he hummed, thankful that Monday was only two days away.

                Somewhere in the distance Moe heard the hospital radio telling one of the doctors where to go. He wanted to stop and think about how nice it was when Malinda was there to tell him where to go, but he didn’t want to forget his job. “Wipe it clean until it shines,” Moe sang, proud that he remembered what to do all by himself.

***

Random Fact #22: Before I got married and became a stay-at-home mom, I took the MCAT and was planning to become a doctor.

Love My WIPpet Buds: Thanks to everyone who read, downloaded, and/or reviewed The Beloved Daughter during its free promotion last week!

Join the WIPpets! If you want to join the WIPpet fun, give us an excerpt from your current Work In Progress that has something to do with today's date (like 9 paragraphs from chapter 9 on May 9), then link up here or at My Random Muse. 

Gently Humorous: Weight Loss ... Don't Try This At Home

What's up with this photo?

     Today is a pretty exciting day for our family. My son Silas, whom you may know from the Boy Named Silas blog posts or the Boy Named Silas memoir, has now gone one full week without any tube feedings whatsoever. Granted, we're only completely a three-week trial, but it's looking more and more like Silas will one day (maybe even one day soon) outgrow his feeding tube completely.

     Just last night Silas asked me, "Do you think I like my tube?" And before giving me a chance to answer, he inserted, "Well, I don't."

     And what's to like? Silas' tube has caused him plenty of physical discomfort. He can't eat the snacks with the rest of his buddies when he goes to Sunday school or Awana's. And on several occasions, Silas' brothers have accidentally pulled his tube out while rough-housing the way boys typically do.

     That's why I was completely flabbergasted when I read an article that brides-to-be are actually opting for tube-fed, liquid-only diets to loose the last few pounds they want before they get hitched. These runway star wannabes don't go to the extreme of having a G-tube surgically placed into their side like Silas has. No, they insert a feeding tube up their nose, then down their throat into their stomach. Yup, you heard that right. Up the honker, down the hatch.

     All in the name of weight loss.

     Unfortunately, the tube-fed diet isn't the only ridiculous one out there. Have you heard about the hCG diet? It sounds all scientific because it's hormonally based. But think about it, ladies. You are getting injected with pregnancy hormone! The only women I know of who actually lost weight during their pregnancies were blowing chunks round the clock. Everyone else was gaining weight. And seriously now ... why would I even want to make my body think it was pregnant again? I thought I was done having kids!

     Now the tapeworm diet ... this one beats them all hands down. Here you go, girlfriends. All you've got to do is swallow this tapeworm. Yes, you heard me right. You swallow it. And it will live in your stomach (and grow) and live off of all the calories you eat. Wonderful idea, right?

     I've never gone to any of those extremes, but I admit that once I tried an apple pie diet. I'm dead serious. I allowed myself one slice of apple pie every day around lunch time. I figured that if I knew I was at least getting something yummy once a day I wouldn't mind skipping out on my other meals. I stuck to half of the diet, I'm proud to say. I only ate apple pie. Unfortunately, I had a harder time limiting myself to just one piece ...

     Same thing happened when I tried the Hawaiian roll diet ...

     I once heard of a church who decided to do a communal forty-day liquid fast. By day five, some of the members went from clear liquids to blended drinks like smoothies. It was only another week before they were throwing cookies and ice cream in a blender and slurping it down.

     Gluttony certainly is a real struggle many people (myself included) face, and the health consequences of poor eating choices are no laughing matter. But every once in a while, in a world that constantly bombards us with images of rail-thin actresses and promises from hyped-up weight loss programs, it's fun to sit back and allow ourselves a little laugh.

     And maybe enjoy a slice of apple pie with lunch.

Random Fact #21: I survived weeks at a time as a college student eating only Cheerios, craisins, and an occasional pint of Ben and Jerry's.