Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Wednesday WIPpet: "Maternity Ward. Code Blue"



      Saving Natalie was the very first manuscript I actually saw through to the end. It has since been shelved for about four years as I focused on my second manuscript, The Beloved Daughter. I was planning to self-publish The Beloved Daughter and have in my hands by my thirtieth birthday this spring. (Nice gimmick, right? "Hey! I'm turning thirty. Don't you want to buy this book I wrote?")

     In an unforeseen, twisted turn of events, I just found out yesterday that The Beloved Daughter made it to the finalist round in the Women of Faith writing competition. Care to guess the grand prize? A shot at that traditional publishing contract I've always drooled over in private (and public, I'll admit).

     Should be good news, right? But my birthday is in two months and The Beloved Daughter truly was three clicks of the button away from being self published. But now I've got to wait out to hear the contest results, so there's no way I can have it in my hands by my thirtieth birthday. (I know, I really need to get over my disappointment, don't I?)

     So anyway, in honor of today's WIPpet, here are twenty sentences starting from page 20 of my very first manuscript Saving Natalie. I'm 98% sure I won't be able to edit it in time to have it in my hands by the time I turn 30, but at least it will give me something to focus on while I wait to hear about The Beloved Daughter's fate.

                Jake walked into the birthing room and stopped in the middle of the doorway. Jessica was reclining in the hospital bed, cradling Natalie in her arms. Jessica’s face was turned away, but Jake could see the baby perfectly.
                She wasn’t the picture-perfect, rosy infant with chubby cheeks that Jake had expected to meet. Her skin was dark and blotchy. Her hair was curly, with a pronounced point at the top of her skull – a black cone head with a bad case of dry scalp.
                Jake expected his baby to somehow steal his heart and change his life with that first glimpse. He came prepared to feel overwhelming emotions of joy and love, even fear. But the only thing he felt was surprise and a little bit of guilt for being so numb.
Baby Natalie squirmed and adjusted in her sleep. A plump nurse strolled in the room wearing Snoopy smocks and a smile that reminded Jake of some absentminded nanny. “Just checking on Mom and baby,” she bustled.
Jake silently watched the nurse check the hospital monitors and write something on her clipboard.
"How’s the baby doing?” Snoopy Pants turned down part of the baby blanket covering Natalie’s face. Immediately her smile faded. 
“Get the doctor!” she shouted. 
Only a few seconds later, the hospital intercom announced, “Maternity ward. Code blue” -  a heavy, dull echo in Jake's ears.

Do you WIPpet? You should! Give us an excerpt from your Work In Progress. Just make sure what you're including something that has to do with today's date! (Twenty sentences from page 20 posted on February 20, for example.) Then link up here or at My Random Muse.



11 comments:

  1. Alana, your writing is bad for my hard-as-nails composure. I'm supposed to be Mrs. Tough-Cookies, remember? But do you show any regard for my hard heart? Noooooo. You have to go and keep posting tear-jerkers. Sheesh! ;-)

    ("Snoopy Pants" hehehe)

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    1. You flatter me too much. I doubt you could read even this excerpt without gagging. There's no way you'd make it through the entire book!

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    2. Oh, see, now you flatter me too much. I went all the way through the beta-read on Beloved Daughter without a single gag. *sigh* Must be losing my touch...

      I hope you win the competition!

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    3. so you're admitting "Beloved Daughter" is gag-worthy? Them's some fighting words, Regi... I thought I threw in enough torture scenes to keep your bile down. :)

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    4. Erp! Uh... I'll bring a pair of pliers to the next playdate. You may have to help me pull my foot out of my mouth. I think I lodged it up to my knee. ;0)

      Really, though, Beloved Daughter is beautiful. Lots and lots of people should get the chance to read it. Even no-tear-jerkers-please whimps like me. =0)

      Just in case: the preview on this keeps trying to call me by Ann Onymus. I don't know any Onymus's, so not sure what's up with that... I really am ReGi.

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  2. Ah - beautiful and tears at your heart (in a way any parent can relate to). Nice WIPpet.

    Congratulations on getting through on the Women of Faith competition - all the best for going all the way! I understand why you wanted to hold your book for your milestone birthday, but you know what the word says about our plans... Can't wait to hear how it works out!

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    1. Aw, thanks so much Raewyn. Yes, I've been known to make God laugh on more than one occasion with my own "grand" plans. I'm glad you were able to relate to this post as a parent. This whole story is actually a (very-scantily) veiled attempt for me to recreate my son's birth experience through fiction. Change the characters, change the gender of the baby, and voila! I can write about myself and "nobody" will know! ;)

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  3. Congrats on the contest!! I hope to hear good news in the future in that regard. :)

    Excellent WIPpet. I love the baby description and it certainly does leave us on the edges of our seats!!

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    1. Thank you so much Kathi. Your kind comment truly made my afternoon!

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  4. A really emotional read - very moving.

    Congratulations on The Beloved Daughter making the final. Finger's crossed it becomes a winner too!

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    1. Thank you, Kate!! I really appreciate it. Good luck in all your writing endeavors as well!

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