Tuesday, May 27, 2014

WIPpet Wednesday: "All About Zeal"

Happy Wednesday! Slave Again has gone through its round of beta reads (thanks, Kate Sparkes, et al). It's even gone through a lovely and helpful gamma read via the beautiful Reig McClain of Arvid
and Oya fame. (What's a gamma read? It's what comes after a beta read, obviously.)

So now, the choices are ... hit publish, or not. And, believe it or not, I've decided to shelve it. Just for a few more months. Not because I don't like it, but because it needs more work that I just can't see right now. And June's coming up, and I just may decided to jump into JuNoWriMo if my wrists hold up for it. Because, you know, my follow-up novel will need a follow-up of its own one day, right?

So here's what we've got from Slave Again. It might be the last snippet you'll see for quite a while. I've included five sentences since it's the fifth month. Helpful context here: Mee-Kyong is a North Korean refugee who escaped a prison camp with her boyfriend, Pang.

***

Mee-Kyong shut off her mind, nodding every once in a while as Mrs. Stern continued to prattle and extol the Western Savior she and her husband followed so zealously. Mee-Kyong knew all about zeal. Pang had been a disciple of the Party at one point, back when he worked in the same factory where Mee-Kyong’s unit slaved. She knew what it was to follow someone with a fervor that blinded you to reason and sense, what it was to submit so fiercely, so foolishly to someone. Mrs. Stern droned on about passion and commitment, and all Mee-Kyong could think about was the crunching sound the cartilage made the first time Pang broke her nose.

***

That's all, folks! Happy WIPpetting to you all!

Blog Love: Huge thanks to K L Schwengel for hosting the WIPpet Wednesday blog hop, where authors post snippets from the current Works In Progress.

Random Fact: My oldest son knew the Greek alphabet long before his ABCs. That's what happens to pastor kids, I suppose.

14 comments:

  1. Ooh, that last line...ouch! Came close to having my nose broke once. Thinking about it makes me cringe. Well done and good luck with JuNoWriMo if you jump in.

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    1. I can't ever say I've come close to breaking my nose. But my boys have tough skulls that have at times found their way to my nose.

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  2. Oh, wow. You've really captured it. The line "Mrs. Stern droned on about passion and commitment, and all Mee-Kyong could think about was the crunching sound the cartilage made the first time Pang broke her nose" is pretty much a perfect snapshot. I know what that zeal feels like, too (minus the broken nose, but plus other broken things).

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    1. Thanks for stopping by, Amy. Here's to wishing all our broken parts get healed. :)

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  3. ...um...
    My nose feels funny now... all stiff and sore and kind hard to breathe...

    That was a potent excerpt, Alana. I love the way you present the dichotomy of their feelings here.

    And cool to know you're thinking of joining the JuNoWriMo this year. You can always be a rebel if 50K is too much on the wrists. All the words you add will help in the long run.

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    1. Thanks so much, Eden. Yes, I think I'm mentally gearing up to have the rough draft done by the end of July. I think I'll still JuNoWriMo though and hope to catch some extra momentum that way. :)

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  4. One of the most thought-provoking snippets in the book. =0)

    Wow! I don't think I'd ever heard that bit about your eldest. Very impressive. Of course, you and your boys have that whole brilliant-without-trying thing going on. =0) So cool.

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    1. Yeah, that was back when Dad was in Bible college. Kinda crazy. I think we sitll have the video...

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  5. That last sentence came as quite a shock - and also made me wince. I haven't broken my nose, but I did bang it up pretty badly at Universal Studios once (it was during their halloween event, and running and slick concrete do not mix) it bled for a good 20 minutes afterwards.

    Your son knew the greek alphabet first? That's pretty impressive!

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    1. O no, running plus slick concrete plus Haloween event doesn't sound like a pleasant experience pain-wise. Hope it was fun in other respects! :)

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  6. Excellent snippet, Alana! The last line has a huge punch.

    That said, I'm a firm believer in putting things aside for a while before doing a final editing pass. Distance can work wonders. If you've been away from a manuscript long enough and are working on something else to occupy your creative brain, it can be amazingly fresh -- giving you a much better idea of how it might work on a reader. :)

    Good luck!

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  7. Sometimes, time apart from our words is exactly what we need. I do it as practice. I have a couple of rough drafts I need to read this summer. I almost totally forgot about one.

    Your snippet shows how the past has shaped your character's view point. And like everyone else said, that last line really drives it home. Great job!

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  8. What a powerful excerpt! I can see exactly how Mee-Kyong's world view has been shaped through just those few lines.

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  9. This excerpt is haunting yet so true. It's part of why I wrote my last paper with an inclusion about revictimization in the church. We tend to do it on accident and most of the time without even being aware of it. I really love this excerpt.

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